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"A perfect example of why the American notion of a free public education is a bad idea. He's nothing more than a wad of protoplasm. A deadhead, that one. I should have failed him, but that would have meant another semester reading his bloated prolixity, so I promoted him. I'm so ashamed." - bitterman's 10th Grade English teacher, Mrs. Sharp.

"I told him there would come a time when those wronged would ask for restitution. I never thought you could actually pay in flesh from the buttocks region. I thought he made that one up." - bitterman's Dad.

"We think it was a marionette show when he was perhaps six years old. A little horse puppet called him fat. Can you imagine? An explanation of what actually precipitated his later behavior would be pure speculation." - bitterman's Mom.

"Would you please stop calling? And for the last time; I am not your therapist." - a certain Bay Area mental health professional that shall go unnamed.

"Who?" - country music legend Little Jimmy Dickens.

"An extraordinary leader of men. He was a devoted public servant who led our nation out of one of its darkest hours with grace and bipartisanship. No, wait. That was Gerald Ford." - Senator Thad Cochran.

"Damn. It’s a shame nobody reads this shit." - chris @ chrisbastian.com.

"...a Mississippi journalist in the spirit of Twain and Harry Crews..." - rob @ rankinblog.com.

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